I would be pissed too if someone interrupted me while I was boning.

I was at work today, and the most amazing thing happened. I got out of the bulldozer, and there they were, sitting on the edge of a puddle. Toads. Three pairs of them, and they were ALL fucking. They were so close to one another, and all of them were staring me down. Two thoughts raced through my mind...

1.) "Son of a bitch. I didn't bring my video camera."

2.) "FUCKING TOADS! AND THEY'RE FUCKING!!!"

I stood still for a moment, not knowing what my next move would be. My eyes darted back and forth between the three pairs of humping amphibians. The standoff lasted for what seemed like an eternity. Then finally, at long last, an idea hit me like a baseball thrown by a juiced-up MLB pitcher. I was going to try and poke one of them with my finger.

I cautiously made my way towards two of the romantically involved toads. The female turned and sprinted for the hillside, the male holding on for dear life, doing anything he could to prevent the interruption of coitus. Her mad dash for escape was cut short by an un-hoppable bank. Without the dead weight of her boyfriend, I suspect that she could have made it.

I decided that now was the time to make my move. I stuck out one finger, and slowly reached out and touched the male. He instantly countered with a series of fast chirps, and I, in my frightened state, fell backwards from my crouching position, landing ass-first in thick, sloppy mud.

These creatures have bested me this time, but the battle is far from over. Mating season doesn't end for a few more weeks. I will have my chance. Next time, though, I will come to battle prepared with quick reflexes, and an even quicker video camera.